


A Break in the Routine

by Thistlerose



Category: Firefly
Genre: Age Difference, Coming of Age, F/M, Ficlet, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-06
Updated: 2012-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-30 17:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thistlerose/pseuds/Thistlerose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things are relatively comfortable for a time.  Then River turns eighteen and it all falls apart.<br/>Written in 2006.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Break in the Routine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [musesfool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/gifts).



Wash's absence is so palpable that it's almost a presence. Still _Serenity_ 's crew shuffles along and eventually shuffles into a functioning routine. Mal becomes used to having a not-quite-haunted ship, to the pain dragging at the corners of Zoe's infrequent smiles, to Simon and Kaylee's loud humping.

He becomes used to the way the recycled air seems to crackle whenever Inara draws near. Then after she leaves – for good this time, he can't help but think – he becomes used to the air's staleness.

Mal likes routine, likes knowing what to expect of his crew, his boat. Things are relatively comfortable for a time.

Then River turns eighteen and it all falls apart.

It's Kaylee's fault, really. It's hard to blame a girl who's not quite right in the head, even if it's been months since she's knocked any of his crew senseless. Mal has had no quarrel with River wandering his boat in her shapeless, lace-trimmed shifts, with her hair falling in tangles around her face. It's not until Kaylee decides to dress her up and put that gorram paint on her face – to make her _pretty_ for her eighteenth birthday party – that the uneasiness begins.

Because Kaylee does a good job. She lets River pick the dress, and it's a _nice_ dress that clings to her slender form. She brushes River's hair until it shines and weaves it with little dried flowers she's collected. She reddens River's lips and draws dark lines around her eyes.

"Everyone, look!" Kaylee says, pushing River before her into the mess room. "Doesn't she look pretty?"

And River smiles shyly and smoothes the dress where it covers her thighs.

"Oh, hey," says Jayne with obvious approval.

" _Hey,_ " snaps Simon.

_Hey,_ thinks Mal.

"So?" inquires Kaylee. "Pretty?"

Mal thinks, _She's more than pretty._ She's pale and smooth as cream and that dress looks like something cut from the black itself, stars and all. Then he thinks a few other things that it's best Simon not know about. _Then_ he remembers that the girl he's looking up and down is a psychic.

And she's still smiling, but it's not a shy smile anymore.

 

After that, Mal guards his thoughts. He can't avoid River because _Serenity_ is only so big, and she's gotten good at steering, so she's frequently on the bridge.

He can think about other things, though. He can think about his next job, and whether or not the Alliance has given up its search for the Tams or if it's just biding its time. He can think about Inara, though he'd really rather not. 

_Long, white limbs,_ he thinks sourly. _Anyone can have 'em. I can think about 'em and they needn't be anyone particular's. Big brown eyes, too. Awful common._

River's grace is anything but common, though. Mal can't think about _that_ kind of wild grace and not let that thought lead to the girl at the helm beside him. Well, he can think furtively about gazelles, but River turns to him and gives him a funny, knowing look the one time he does.

 

The air doesn't crackle around River the way it did around Inara. It sort of wriggles and sighs like it's loving the way she moves through it. And that's a thing to which Mal just can't grow accustomed.

Fortunately, there comes a day not too long after River's eighteenth birthday when Mal turns to her and says, "You know, little one…"

He means to tell her something about the boat she's flying, but then she looks up at him and the words go tumbling back down his throat. They land with a _thump_ in his belly.

"Not so little anymore," River says, and there's something in her smile, some joy, some power that Mal knows is about to knock him senseless. "Want to see?"

Oh, yes he does. 

01/20/06


End file.
